graxxxie-ness

Say I’m crazy
Cause I have to have you
Say I’m dreaming
Cause I wanna see this through
Say there’s no meaning to life
If I’m not with you
My love, my only love

Cause it’s you
Who will always be my first love
It’s you
Who first showed me who I really was
In you
My soul has found the one I’m searching for
It’s true, I adore you

Ref.:
Our love is like a merry go round
Sometimes it’s up
Sometimes it’s down
Like the sun and the rain
Even good loves found the change
Boy you should know
Cause the love we have we shouldn’t let go

Now you can walk away
Go on without me
Or you can try to stay
And make this easy
Though it’s hard
If you really wanna be alone
It’s okay, okay

Ref.

It’s clear to see
Your heart belongs to me
I’ll always get by
With you in my life
Don’t you ever leave

Ref

*crossing fingers*

I had enough of these happenings. Everything is falling apart but I ain’t giving up. I just want to rest my head. This day is worst day I could say. My dad doesn’t want to see me anymore. I feel so useless thinking of the words he said. All I was asking is my time. I’m almost always not in our home because I don’t want them see me sad, I don’t want them see me weak, I don’t want them see me as problematic. Sad thing, I got no one to turn to. Not even to my love of my life as he has more things to think of, and I understand that part. Everyday, I go to church, chapel. Sometimes I go there not the usual time I visit just because I was almost falling apart. I always pray God will give me strength on these things I am facing so that I won’t cry & everyone could see me everything is just fine. I know it’s not right but I just have to. If there’s anyone who can see me sad, it’s only one person, and it’s Arjo (love of my life). I can share, express anything to him, good things or bad things. He knows me when I’m pretending to be okay and when I’m not.

As of the moment, it is God who I am sharing everything. I got no one to turn to. I’m just waiting for that day, less than hundred days from now, when I can finally rest my head…

November 15, 2011
It’s the day of my physical examination (I won’t specify the exact physical examination.)
I was alone, w/o my loved one nor my family. All in my mind was to be strong. As soon as the clock striked 5 mins before 7:30am, I felt more worries and fears.
It was really awkward and scary but after the procedure I felt a relief.
The result was mild but the doctor can’t tell me the cause.
I went to office after to inform my leads I won’t be working so I can rest & recover.
My mom decided we visit bro Charles to check me.

As soon as I entered the mini chapel, he has already sensed my problems. He has healed me for my body was filled w/ bad spirits which almost taken over me and has caused me all the negative vibes in my life including all aspects.

After bro Charles has blessed me, I felt a big relief. He was able to tell all my problems without me saying those to him. I finally have peace of mind and now I am fully healed. He has taught me a lot of things. He has told me to throw away all the anger, hatred and pride inside me as these won’t do any good on me. I learned a lot at the same time waken up.

Grace has recovered.

God bless us all. Glory to God the father.

BEFORE I SNAP.

I need a little more help than a little bit
Like the perfect one word no one’s heard yet
Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by this time

I know it feels like the end
Don’t want to be here again
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again
What it takes I don’t care
We’re gonna make it I swear
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again
Again

and i didn’t acknowledge your presence, it means I really didn’t see you. (I’m blind in public places)
you can tap me, call me, approach me or whatever you want it. I won’t eat you. I’d be happy to say hello back :)

I’m a priority or a responsibility?